This week marks the fifth anniversary of my becoming a father. It offers a chance to pause and reflect on the past five years, the ups and downs, joys and sorrows, triumphs and failures, that have occurred along the journey of fatherhood. The following are but a few lessons learned along the way:
1) Give a timeout, TAKE a timeout ~ timeout is an effective disciplinary tool. It is also an excellent way to maintain parental discipline. Don't punish in the "heat" of the moment as your anger may make you "overreact" give the timeout and take one yourself. Pause and settle down for a few minutes. THEN, and ONLY THEN, talk to your child about what they did wrong, how to correct that behavior in the future and that you love and forgive them. Its all about give and take, so give one and take one simultaneously.
2) There is NOT a single event, tv show, book, magazine, phone call, household chore, or other preoccupation that is MORE important than interacting with my boys.
3) I need to remind myself every morning that my boys are going to eventually leave home with what I LIVED OUT in that home, not what I said and didn't do myself.
4) Protection can lead to suffocation, whilst exposure can lead to edification. Sometimes you have to let go a little and let them fall down.
5) I love you is something my boys can never hear enough, and I will never grow tired of hearing it from them either.
6) Know your role. Mom always seems to get top billing for the boys. She is the star. Dads are like character actors, we often get supporting roles. For some dads, that can be humbling, discouraging, even upsetting. They key to remember is that even if you only get a few lines and mom seems to be in every scene, NEVER miss your cue or be too busy to say your few lines. The only way to get a bigger part is to NAIL every one of your scenes in the small parts you get. If my boys say "Daddy" instead of "Mommy" I better take advantage and show up!
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